Generally speaking, we don’t really want to argue with our significant other.
Preparing for retirement means talking about how it will change your lives. These conversations may be long and sometimes a bit spirited.
Here are 4 steps to having difficult conversations.
Step 1: Start the Conversation
Plan ahead for a time and place to have a discussion. Choose 1 topic at a time, rather than trying to cover too much. Listen to each other and remember this is not about who is right or wrong. This is about building a future where you both are happy.
Step 2: Communicate Clearly
Express yourself honestly and clearly. Use “I” statements and avoid words like always or never.
Step 3: Be a Good Listener
Focus on what your partner is saying, not on how you want to respond. If you are concerned you may forget something. Have a list ready so when it is your turn you are prepared. Don’t interrupt, instead ‘mirror back’ what they said to be sure you accurately understand.
There may be topics that require multiple conversations before a decision is made.
Step 4: Compromise
Find some common ground and work from there to find win-win solutions. The goal is to find a compromise that everyone can life with.
The decisions made during these conversations are not set in stone. You may try something, find it doesn’t work the way you thought and need to renegotiate a better solution.
The most important thing is to have open, ongoing and honest communication.
