Life is full of choices – all the time!
- Should I wear this or that?
- What should I eat for breakfast?
- Which app do I look at first on my phone?
- Which task do I do first today?
- Should I go out to lunch with my frirend?
- What should I get my child for their birthday?
- When should I retire?
I could keep going, but you get the idea.
We are making choices all day long, every day. Sometimes we give them a lot of thought and other times we are more on autopilot.
Choices become habits, habits become
character, character becomes destiny.
The choices we make as we plan for retirement can significantly impact how happy we are.
So how do we make the ‘right’ choices? How do we make choices that are easy to live with?
This is where understanding our character strengths and core values is vital. These are different from personality traits. (those are important too)
It will also help guide us so we can say no when appropriate. (something we women often struggle with.)
If you are not sure what your character strengths are I recommend taking the VIA Character Strengths Finder. (it is free at www.viacharacter.org)
The survey measures character strengths and focuses on what is best about you. It differs from the Clifton Strength Finder which you may be more familiar with. The Clifton measures talents and focuses on what you do best while the VIA survey is rooted in positive psychology which helps us develop resiliency.
Once you have identified your top 5 character strengths, write them down somewhere you can see them frequently.
Values
Next are your values. Living in alignment with your values will help you make better decisions. When you choose things that don’t align, you may feel anxious, stressed and generally dissatisfied.
Yor core values are the principles and beliefs that guide your life. Reflecting on these can help shape your retirement vision. Common values include:
- Family – Prioritizing time with children, grandchildren, and other relatives.
- Health – Maintaining physical and mental wellness through an active lifestyle and healthcare.
- Freedom – Having the flexibility to do what you want, when you want.
- Security – Ensuring financial stability and peace of mind.
- Growth – Continuing personal development through learning, hobbies or travel.
- Community – Engaging with and contributing your community.
These are just some examples.
Think2Perfomr has a great free online tool to help you identify your values if you are struggling. (www.think2perform.com/values)
Be sure to write down your values next to the character traits from above.
Now you have a compass you can use to help make decisions that will increase your happiness. When you are presented with a choice, check it against your character and values. If it doesn’t align say ‘no.’ If you aren’t sure, ask questions until you are sure.
It can be very helpful to keep both your 5 values and your character traits on something that you can review regularly. (I have mine on a piece of paper on the fridge.) When you have a choice to make, review these 10 bullet points to ensure the choice you make aligns with who you are. It can be very easy to get swept up in a situation and agree to something that you end up regretting.
In retirement we have the freedom to choose things that align with our values and character so that we can make decisions that resonate better with us, thus making us happier.
Choosing Your Core Pursuits
As I spent time learning about the realities of retirement I read a lot of books. One of the first I picked up was Wes Moss’s; What the Happiest Retirees Know: 10 Habits for a Healthy, Secure and Joyful life. (I highly recommend this book.) One of the biggest takeaways I learned was about something he calls core pursuits.
These are hobbies on steroids.
According to his research the happiest retirees have 3 or 4 core pursuits. Things they devote a lot of time and energy to. Things that get them out of bed in the morning filled with excitement and anticipation. Things that give them purpose.
Engaging in these pursuits helps us stay active, mentally engaged, and socially connected.
First, we need to identify what our core pursuits might be.
This is the brainstorming stage. Create a list with as many different interests as you can.
Here are some tips to get you started:
- Reflect on Interests and Passions Self-Assessment: Consider activities you’ve enjoyed throughout your life, hobbies you want to develop, and new interests you’d like to explore. Passions: Identify what you are passionate about. This could include creative arts, sports, learning, volunteering, or travel.
- Evaluate Your Strengths and Skills Strengths: Think about your talents and skills that you can leverage in your pursuits. Transferable Skills: Consider how skills from your career or previous experiences can be applied to new activities.
- Explore New Opportunities Try New Activities: Experiment with activities you’ve never tried before to discover new interests. Stay Open-Minded: Be open to stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing new experiences.
Make a list of as many ideas as you can think of.
Now it is time to make some choices.
Take a look at your list and prioritize it to your top 3. Think about the following as you review your list.
- · Is there something I am already very passionate about?
- · Does the activity align with my character and values?
- · Are there local resources available for the activity?
Taking the First Step
Once you have them identified think of 1 step you can take in the next month to move forward and investigate making that item a core pursuit. Write that step down and a date you want to complete it.
It is important to remember that not everything is going to work out. You may discover you don’t enjoy sky diving or woodworking. You may discover that golf gets boring when you play too often or there aren’t any opportunities to play piano in your area.
There are many reasons why a specific interest may not turn into a core pursuit. That is why it is a good idea to have as long a list as possible. When one thing doesn’t work out, you have another item on the list to pursue. This helps avoid the frustration of feeling like you don’t have anything interesting going on in your life.
And pursuing these hobbies more passionately doesn’t mean you must focus on only these 3 or 4 – that is the beauty of retirement – you can spend your time where you want doing as many different things as you want.
Identifying your core passions is only the first step to filling that blank page.
We continue to change at every stage of life.
Now you have the tools to help make choices as you live your legacy years.
With the knowledge of your values, character traits and personality traits you can review the various opportunities available to you to help choose the activities that best fit who you are.
